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Obama's Nobel Peace Prize


Main Entry: No·bel Prize
Pronunciation: \nō-ˈbel-, ˈnō-ˌbel-\
Function: noun
Date: 1900

1: any of various annual prizes (as in peace, literature, medicine) established by the will of Alfred Nobel for the encouragement of persons who work for the interests of humanity —called also Nobel

2: An award given to anyone who is not George W. Bush

The Nobel Peace Prize, or the "Not George W. Bush Award" as it is now called, is quite an honor for our president. Some are concerned that they gave him the award prematurely or that he didn't deserve it at all. Of course they also gave a Nobel Prize to Yasir Arafat for his performance in the "Shaking hands with the Jewish Guy" photo-op. And to Al Gore for telling us it might be getting warmer outside in his award winning "robot man" voice... What? That's his normal voice? oh, my bad. I thought it was for theatrical effect. Like, "THE HUMANS WILL ALLL DIE IF THEY DO NOT TURN OFF THE DAMN LIGHTS WHEN THEY ARE OUT AND THE ROBOTS WILL RULE THE EARTH..."

Anyway, he has done a lot to earn this award! Such as become president, and not be George W. Bush, and gave some inspiring speeches about how he's not George W. Bush, and energized politics by not being George W... Ok so the Nobel committee got a bit over anxious, but give him a chance. He might earn it yet. I certainly hope so.




Pronunciation: \ˈlā-zē\
Function: adjective
Inflected Form(s): la·zi·er; la·zi·est
Etymology: perhaps from Middle Low German lasichfeeble; akin to Middle High German erleswen to become weak
Date: 1549

1 a : disinclined to activity or exertion : not energetic or vigorous b : encouraging inactivity or indolence

2: a... uhhh... man I can't think of anything funny... I'll do it later....

Catholic church sure got one thing right: Laziness, or sloth definitely is one of the seven deadly sins. It's also the fourth funnest.

Sure it's important to be a productive person, work hard and contribute to society, but by God it's equally enjoyable to just stop in the middle of a task and g-

I know many people afflicted with this disease. I myself have been know to suffer from it. It's not that you don't care or want to be a productive person, it's just that sometimes you just don't feel like walking all the way to the trashcan so you throw stuff in that general direction. Or, you don't want to stop to get your car's oil changed every five years or whatever. And sure it's only a billionth of a calorie more to start usng vwls n ur txt msg or evn whle wrds nd fck pnctation

Of course it's too bad there is a banana on the floor because you were to lazy to actually aim for the trashcan, but it will biodegrade eventually; mother nature is never lazy about that. And sure its going to be more work later when your car's engine explodes, and sure your text abbreviations sent your friends to the wrong part of town at three A.M. when they come to get you after your car exploded, but think of all the time you are saving!! Got to be like... uh... let me calculate this out... uh.. many many seconds or something. oh God... "publish post" button... so... far... away...




Main Entry: Cal·i·for·nia
Pronunciation: ˌka-lə-ˈfȯr-nyə
Function: geographical name.

1: state SW UnitedStates Sacramento

area 158,706 square miles (411,048square kilometers), population 33,871,648

2: The only state where "plastic" is an option for ethnicity.

Ah the the Land of Dreams! A perfect combination of warm weather, free thinking, beautiful people, creativity and remorseless, rampant consumerism and irrational body image expectations. It is truly the best place in the world to live the life you have always dreamed of, and promptly lose it to substance abuse, and other forms of self destruction.
I may sound jaded, but here is the thing, I am this jaded in KANSAS, imagine how much more jaded I can become after several years in California! But before that happens I can live out my dreams in the land where the streets are paved gold... and silicone.

The midwest is the spot where the lazy settlers who were heading to California got tired, or left behind by the athletic settlers who were tired of listening to the heavy breathing.