Higher Education

Main Entry: higher education

Function: noun

Date: 1834

1: education beyond the secondary level;

especially : education provided by a college or university

2: A four year long drinking competition that incurs copious debt.

Indoctrination... er... I mean education is a mixed bag. Part fascinating knowledge that lets you explore far reaches of the universe and the dark corners of your mind, and part twaddle and bullshit. On one hand you can learn logic and reasoning, how the world works, how to read and express your thoughts in a clear, concise manner. On the other hand, should you make the mistake of taking something practical and related to the "real world," you quickly find the "real world" "sucks prodigious ass." (prodigious, for all you educated people, means "giant" or "extensive" and is a word I did NOT learn while being "educated").

Professors will babble on about "synergy" even as you and your fellow students disprove synergy, teamwork and for that matter democracy, in one fell swoop. The rest of the time they teach you important corporate skills such as: Sucking up, keeping your mouth shut, letting your dreams die, and how to manage your pain through light substance abuse (keep liquor and glue in your desk. Make sure it's not the pansy, non-toxic crap).

Higher Education