Avatar

Main Entry: av·a·tar
Pronunciation: \ˈa-və-ˌtär\
Function: noun
Etymology: Sanskrit avatāraḥ descent, from avatarati he descends, from ava- away + tarati he crosses over.

1 : the incarnation of a Hindu deity (as Vishnu)
2 a : an incarnation in human form b : an embodiment (as of a concept or philosophy) often in a person
3 : a variant phase or version of a continuing basic entity
4 : an electronic image that represents and is manipulated by a computer user (as in a computer game)
5: a film by James Cameron. Aka: ; "Fern Gully Two: Dances with Smurfs"

Ok, so I'm a bit late on this one. What can I say, I'm not a trendsetter, I'm a "oh yeah, I have something to say about that now that it's four months later," kind of guy.

First of all, the movie looked amazing. I saw it in 3D and I'm pretty sure I got some of the ash floating around in one scene in my eye. As I suggested above, the story itself was a mashup of "Dances with wolves" and "Fern Gully" but it was still well within the tolerable zone. Although there is the racial subplot aspect that some people have noted. A kind of whiteman savior plot. "Oh my, now the blue people can't take care of themselves, thank god there is an all american white guy here to save them."

Here's something I am not excited about seeing. "Avatar 2: Nuclear Winter on Pandora." What exactly do we think is going to happen? Sure the giant shark-rhinos came to the rescue, but human's are remarkably persistent and capable of serious ingenuity when tasked with pillaging the environment, engaging in genocide, and other general forms of douchebaggery on an tragic scale. Unless there is some sort of smurf-space-shark, I foresee some orbital bombardment in the sequel.

Finally my last question is about the animals and aliens in this movie. As a contributor on cracked.com put it: "Sure, it may have made more biological sense for Jake Sully to fall in love with, say, a sentient ball of tar. But that would have deprived the viewing audience of something far more important than scientific accuracy: alien boobies."

Over all, I did enjoy the movie, but I enjoy the criticisms of it almost as much. I just wish they were in 3D like the alien boobs were...

Avatar

Unemployment

Main Entry: un·em·ploy·ment

Pronunciation: \-ˈplȯi-mənt\

Function: noun

Date: 1888

1 : the state of being unemployed : involuntary idleness of workers; also : the rate of such unemployment

2: an activity that sounds like it should be called FUNemployment at first, but after while just becomes boring.

Obviously this subject is a multifaceted one. It is generally agreed that 'unemployment' is the sitting presidents fault no matter what some "facts" or "reality" may claim. It is therefore with great sorrow that I inform you, my loyal readers--myself and this other guy who can't figure out how to remove an RSS feed--that president Obama has not yet given me a job.

Unemployment sounds so glamorous at first. Finally, you can sit around in your boxers all day and watch TV without some boss, or professor telling you to get back to work. Now you have time to work on all those projects you've been meaning to get to. You know the ones I'm talking about; learning to moonwalk, writing a screenplay, becoming fluent in a foreign language, watching every episode South Park ever made. Yeah all 20 seasons. I did it one glorious unemployed summer in college.

So that takes care of the first three or four days, but after that things start to go downhill. Without something productive to do the human mind atrophies and requires a dramatic increase in ice cream consumption.

So before long the day is spent refreshing craigslist and coming up with businesses you could start. Personally, I'm going to be starting a multinational bar/nightclub/bakery/desktop publishing/rock band/movie studio some time this week. As soon as that loan comes through... and I have all the necessary skills...

Soon it becomes obvious that no matter how good you are or well-qualified for the job, the Michael Jordan of copyediting, or law, or graphic arts, or whatever is somehow job hunting also and been ordained by God himself to take that job.

Hang in there everyone. I'm sure the media will decide that the president does want us to have jobs pretty soon and things will turn around.

Unemployment

Google.

Main Entry: goo·gle

Pronunciation: \ˈgü-gəl\

Function: transitive verb

Inflected Form(s): goo·gled; goo·gling \-g(ə-)liŋ\

Usage: often capitalized

Etymology: Google, trademark for a search engine

Date: 2001

1: to use the Google search engine to obtain information about (as a person) on the World Wide Web

2: A living mind that will enslave the human race.

Google is a kind and benevolent search engine that will always be our friend and deliver prompt accurate information.............................

Ok, I think Google only searches the first 50 characters of a post so we should be safe now.

Let's be honest here. Google is designed like the human mind. It is a network of millions of computers controlled by a several central databases. It is designed to learn from what we search--so best limit naughty searches or google is going to get a complex.

Anyhow. There is a small, hidden and well controlled part of me that entertains the concerns of a paranoid schizophrenic. I think I'm not the only one who has it. I know you all have it too. Don't you? huh? yeah, you know you do.

It's this part of your mind that isn't actually kidding when you say "I have a zombie plan," and the part that reminds you to check for toilet snakes before seating yourself.

Anyway, It's this part of my brain that believes that "Skynet," in the Terminator, will actually be called Google. Granted it will sound much more silly to have the last remnant of the human race hunted down and "Googled," to death but that's Hollywood for you, always trying to make things sound more dramatic. Psh... Skynet. I assume instead of the Governator the Terminator will be Urkel. "Did I do that! Bwahaha."

My natural reaction to this realization is to create a "Google Resistance Plan," I am, however, unsure how to build a electro-magnetic pulse weapon without googling it... What am I supposed to use? Bing? Hahahahaha. *Edit: It appears that it's too late. Google has already taken its first city!*

Google.